I always say tests come in tens and you don’t always have the luxury of dealing with one issue, situation or difficulty at a time. It is really easy for it all to get overwhelming and I think everyone has a breaking point. Sometimes your soul gets tired and you think the only way to be unaffected by what life throws at you is to “toughen up”. Some of us “block out” our feelings because it hurts to feel too much.
What I have learnt through my own experiences is that there is no right way to deal with heartbreak, trauma or hurt. But it is important to remember that your healing is your responsibility. You have to own it. Although its ok to take a breath and numb out emotions as a short term coping strategy to get through things, doing this too much can be a disservice to the very being of who you are. It can alter the good bits of you. I say this from my own experiences of being treated a certain way, and my good nature was being taken advantage of. I thought that my “good bits” were the problem when in fact they were the best bits of me. Feeling emotions however tough they are come with life lessons that are crucial for growth, allowing you to discover yourself in deeper ways. My biggest lesson was discovering that I didn’t have sufficient boundaries in place to treat myself and love myself the way others should.
Certain situations naturally bring up our defences and walls and that is ok but if reinforced too often in the hope of protecting yourself from heartbreak or hurt (which is really not something that we can fully control) we can hand over too much control to our own fears and insecurities. The worst part is that you also don’t allow yourself to let in feelings of joy, love and being carefree which are so important to experience life more fully.
Being connected to your feelings and experiences will help you not only understand yourself better but love yourself openly. These experiences made you who you are and for that you should be grateful. They show that you are amazing, beautiful, strong and most importantly a survivor. You are tougher than you think but you are also human. Not all emotions are easy, but your low points teach you how to rise above all that you have endured and what can possibly be more lovely than that?
So “oh broken, confused soul… be kind hearted” firstly to yourself exactly as you are and as an extension of you, to others. You will heal, you will be ok and you are special.
reflect. heal. love always
Brown Girl N.