Life is one of those things that the more you try and prepare for the more you are caught off guard. The good days can sometimes surround you with a false sense of security, when you get through a bad situation or you overcome a test you feel that maybe thats it, the worst is over. The truth is no one ever knows. We can’t control what we will endure or when something unexpected happens. Now thats not to say you should live your life scared or worried all the time. Absolutely not. Because that isn’t living. However, accepting that not everything is in our control and letting go of the need to protect ourselves from getting hurt, or experiencing the feelings that may not feel so great can set you free and allow you to live a more full life.
Even acknowledging this will not guarantee no bad days. Here are my ten tips (from my own experiences, please remember I am not claiming to be a professional in any way) to get through a low day/ period when things really get you down.
- Breathe– Yes simply breathe. Sometimes when it all gets too much we forget to continue to engage in normal processes that our body needs. Sometimes I don’t even realise that I hold my breath when I’m anxious or really stressed! I have learnt to try to calm and refocus my attention to my breathing. Breathe in long deep breaths and exhale slowly letting go of any negative thoughts or feelings or even things that you know are not in your control.
- I am still here– Think about the things you thought you would never get through, or thought would never get better and they did. You got through it. You made it and this shows that you are more resilient, stronger and more prepared to get through any situation you are facing or will encounter in the future.
3. “This too shall pass”– Following from the above point, everything runs its course and you will come out through the other side of this. There are lessons to be learnt in every difficulty you face and you grow and learn more about yourself each time.
4. Which takes me to this point. Remind yourself that “Every experience has a purpose”. It might be something small thats upsetting you, it might be a big overwhelming situation that you face and sometimes you feel low and you don’t even know why (I have lots of these days). However if you really open yourself up to how you are feeling, try to dig deep and try to find the root cause of why you might be feeling like this, you will really reap the benefits of turning a negative experience into a more positive one.
5. Be present– This is one of the most important points here. Time is the most precious and valuable gift you will ever have. Be present when you are with the people you love, engage in activities that you are passionate about and live with every ounce of your being. Start small if this is a challenge for you. Detox from screens, do some breathing exercises and go for a walk. Feel the ground beneath your feet and use your senses to enjoy everything around you.
6. Ask yourself what do I need from me?– When you feel let down, disappointed or misunderstood, refocus your attention to yourself. Be your own cheerleader, your own best friend the one person that fully has your back and think about what you need from yourself in that moment. This doesnt mean that you should seclude yourself, but your circle of support should begin with you and be exactly what you need. That starts with you!
7. Talk to yourself in a kind voice– This is so important in every circumstance. It is so easy to talk down at yourself, blame yourself for things that were not your fault/ in your control or to even let your sarcastic diva let loose inside your head. Stop and think would I talk to a loved one like this? What would I say to someone else that was experiencing the same thing as me?
8. Turn your attention to self care– Sometimes a little bit of tlc can do wonders for your mental state and how you approach a problem or difficult situation. Eat a good home cooked meal, get some proper good rest and a good night sleep. Whatever it is that makes you feel better whether its a night out with the lads/ girls, a nice massage/manicure/pamper day or just a relaxing bath! Do something just for you to take care of you and your needs.
9. Take a break from your thoughts– rewire your thinking pattern by consciously diverting your attention away from the thoughts that are overwhelming you to other thoughts to break the exhausting cycle of going over the same things but not coming to a resolution or feeling better about things.
10. Talk to someone/ write it all out. PRAY.– There is nothing more therapeutic then letting go of all the worry, anxiety and stresses. For me Prayer is the soothing balm that eases everything for me, redirects my thoughts and makes me hand over control to the one who created me. Thats always my first step in dealing with all issues. Sometimes a good chat with someone you love and trust does the trick. Other times it might be necessary to reach out for more professional guidance and there is nothing wrong with needing a therapist. You might find writing everything out helps you rationalise things and see them from a different light. Do what helps you let go of the worries and share them.
These are just some of my tips of what I do when I am feeling sad, low or just not myself. Some of these tips might help you, you may find that others don’t apply to you and that is fine too. The more you stay in tune with your feelings and what things make you feel better you will have your own list of things that will work for you!
Please share your own tips and if you found this blog helpful I would love to hear from you!
respect love. heal always xxx
Brown Girls N x