I am what one could call an introvert by nature, I don’t mean to be and there have been many a times where I have resented the fact that I’m too self conscious to openly express how I feel. I admire those who live their lives as an open book and wear their expressions without an afterthought, I find their openness alluring and commendable as it allows you to be connected to them on a deeper understanding of their inner beings. While I am learning how to be more expressive and open and hopefully in the future will share that with you all also, I am also learning to accept this reserved nature of mine. It is after all a part of who I am and while learning how to be at peace with it I have realised that it has taught me a lot, I have been living a certain way which has been beneficial to me because of this very nature of mine. I would like to share with you my five steps being more blissful while having introverted tendencies.
i. ‘Ignorance is bliss’ a now well known phrase written by the eighteenth-century English poet Thomas Gray “Where ignorance is bliss, / ‘Tis folly to be wise.” a part of his passage
“Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College passage”. While he didn’t mean that it is wiser to be ignorant all the time, sometimes being ignorant of your fate allows you to live more blissfully. It is ironic I say this because I most certainly do not live ignorantly, I will notice, while being in a queue in the supermarket, the lady not realising I’m standing right beside her in the designated queue line while she steps up ahead of to pay but I cannot say anything. Or the person who’s sitting next to me with extremely loud music on their head phones and their bag taking up half my seat, while I’m trying my very best not to overstep my space and offend the bag! So while I have been blissfully ignored by others I have taken that in my stride and from that welcomed the notion that I do not need to worry myself over what others think of me as who I am doesn’t matter to them, what they think of me shouldn’t matter to me. I matter to me and that should be enough.
ii. Being self conscious of who I am has always resulted in presenting a calm demeanor, and while the negative aspect of this always been that I can never show excitement with surprises or risks, I always seem like the person who never loses her cool, even though I’m feeling practically manic on the inside. When a situation seems like it is spiralling out of control I always look put together because revealing how I am actually feeling is near enough impossible for me. And because this is who I have always been the term ‘fake it till you make it’ comes to mind as I now am more calmer and level headed (on the inside as well as the outside) with situations which are harder to handle. No matter how much panic may arise from a traumatic experience conducting myself in a calm manner allows me to begin dealing with the situation almost instantly as I delve in the solution rather than indulging in the emotional aspect of it. So, although I have embraced this step indirectly I have managed to project my purpose.
iii. Not being able to express openly for me resulted in overthinking and expressing too much inwardly, questioning my every actions and doubting everything that comes out of my mouth, and constantly worrying about ‘would of, could of, should of. I end up not only worrying about myself but every circumstances and elements surrounding me. I needed to deal with this factor head on as I felt that overthinking resulted in me losing focus and being absorbed by everything around me. I needed to understand and apply the fact that my focus should be on my worries and my worries only, I needed to also understand that other factors may affect my stresses but I can only deal with what is within my grasp, let the rest go. No matter how awful a situation you may end up in, while you may not be able ‘fix’ everything, there is always something you can do to make it a little better, deal with what you can and what isn’t in your control, let it go and don’t let it consume you.
iv. ‘Your world depends on how you view it’. I remember very vividly a science lesson in secondary school where our teacher walked in looking very glum telling us he is feeling very depressed. After being asked why he explained that he had just found out that the sun will die in 7.5 billion years. The rest of the lesson was spent debating about this piece of information, does it matter if we won’t be alive to witness it? Is this even news? Is our teacher being silly or does he have a valid point of view? Will the earth even survive that long? At the time I thought this was a pointless piece of information but I couldn’t shake off the distraught on my teacher’s face. He was upset about something that would not affect him, his love for his world and the space it is in was of a concern to him, he chose to regard the world and every element surrounding it of direct importance to him. And I kept questioning (obviously to myself) why he couldn’t see the bright side of this information, maybe at that time the world and all the planets might not be self sustainable and all that existing time could have taken it’s toll, after all everything has an expiry date and 7.5 billions years after however many billions years (4.543 to be exact) of already existing is a pretty good survival rate. Everything consists of good and bad, and while its important to be aware of the negative it is imperative to always set our sight on the positive as well, as what you focus on is a representation of what you want to be.
v. ‘My home is my sanctuary’. For introverts this is a no-brainer, but for me moving from one new to place to another after marriage and then living in a very small overcrowded apartment for a very long time, my home was more of a dwelling. I have always had a very strict bedtime routine with my children so having alone time was manageable, but I never felt home proud because I felt it was pointless doing anything to a place which didn’t feel like my own. So after the umpteenth move which is now (fingers crossed) final and more permanent, I felt I could create a relaxing environment which was a reflection of me and is my very own. And even though I had a very tight budget my humble abode is my everything and the more I am at peace with it the more I can project that attitude towards my day to day tasks. One example is that the first thing I do when I wake up is I make my bed, I have read more than once that making your bed first thing mentally prepares you for the day, you feel more organised and therefore ready to face the day ahead. And truthfully I couldn’t agree more. Creating a peaceful and welcoming environment at home allows me to be at peace with myself and my surroundings.
I really hope this little insight into my life will allow you to take what you find useful and helpful and apply it to create a more blissful life for yourself, I would love to hear what you think of this blog and the steps you take in being more blissful.
love. respect. heal.
Brown Girl R