It can be easy giving advice to other people, whether the issue affects you or not. You can be someones go to person for comforting words or practical guidance. However, when it comes to our own self we become lost for words and overwhelmed with emotions and the issue at hand.
This is because we tend to be more self critical and harsher with ourselves. We see mistakes as failure, we over analyse our shortcomings and our inner voice is not always as kind to us as it is to others.
The rollercoaster of emotions we feel can make being objective and giving ourselves sound advice a challenge. We feel the hurt, the loss, the anger and anguish and so it is difficult to listen to our practical voice of reason in these moments and that’s okay too.
It is so important to sit in the pain, the hardship and reflect on why we feel this way, what triggered this emotion and then what the lesson is.
Growth isn’t easy, but if we are willing to see that everything we go through teaches us a valuable lesson about ourselves; then there will be growth of some sort. Otherwise you will get ‘stuck’ in a certain state of mind, holding on to your hurt and taking the same ride of overthinking the same things, which isn’t healthy.
There will be no answers and there won’t be any progress.
Sometimes you will go through the same difficulty time and time again and it is in these moments you carry the tools of your past lessons and help yourself recover more efficiently and productively.
Feel the emotion, understand the lesson and then think “what would I say to someone that I loved and cared about if they were going through the exact same thing?” You should always speak to yourself the way you want to be spoken to.
Speak to yourself in a kind voice, treat yourself as you would a loved one, don’t call yourself demeaning names and do not belittle yourself. You deserve better from yourself and you have to practise what you preach.
It is our own experiences that make us good listeners and allow us to become good advisors. Sometimes we advise others not realising how it connects with ourself and old wounds. We indirectly speak to ourselves and that is important too.
You have to be your own best friend first so you can share that with others. You need to nurture the best bits of yourself and love yourself the way you need to be loved so others know how to love you.
Whatever situation God places you in, you are more than capable of dealing with. You have the ability to get through every impossible situation and come out the other side wiser and stronger. You are never lost or hopeless, you are just on a journey of coming back to yourself.
reflect. love. heal always
Brown Girl N