Sometimes we sell ourselves a dream only because we cannot face the reality of the situation we are in.
Sometimes it is so much easier to believe that there is someone out there that will love us more than the whole universe and once we find each other they will look after us and make our world a better place.
And more often than not, all we end up doing is waiting for that moment that never arrives…
When do end up having a significant other in our lives, we realise our dreams for the relationship were just that, a figment of our imagination.
And we end up disappointed, not just at the way the relationship is not meeting our expectations but also at ourselves because then we end up feeling like we are not worthy of anything better.
This can usually happen if we’ve always hid behind people instead of standing up for ourselves. If we find it difficult to voice our thoughts and concerns and hope someone else can speak up on our behalf.
What we need to realise is that if we acknowledge our wants and needs, we need to work hard on fulfilling that for ourselves on our own.
We need to work on being complete and being happy in our relationship with ourselves. And only then can we have and be vocal about the expectation of others.
Because speaking up, being more open and direct means showing the world who you truly are but feeling insecure means we are not ready to be judged negatively by others.
As someone who had always hid behind others (thank you Brown Girl N for always being my spokesperson when I needed it the most) and never allowed her inner voice to reach outside her lips I realised I was not allowing myself to grow.
I realised it is not about what others think of me but what I think of myself that matters the most.
I need to stand up for myself, be able to voice myself, fight for myself because no matter how many supporters I rally around myself, I cannot stand behind others and expect to be heard the way I want to.
I will never meet all of society’s expectations and fulling them will not always guarantee my happiness, nor will they always reflect what my desires and wishes are.
What I am trying to say is that you only have yourself, and despite the expectations of others only you can truly understand what you need, want, desire whether or not they conform to the expectations of others.
And when you recognise that, can you then understand that what you want to do, say, how you want to act and believe is your responsibility and no one else’s.
So believe in yourself and trust yourself, for if you never let yourself down, you won’t be hurt as much by the let down of others.
Reflect. Love. Heal always xXx
Brown Girl R