I think everyone at some point in their life has experienced some form of heartbreak, betrayal, hurt or let down in their lives. Heartbreak can be confusing and extremely painful emotionally but as a result can also manifest itself into a physical pain.
Heartbreak is such a unique and individual experience. It is very personal and takes a great amount of work from ourselves to get through it. Sometimes no matter what we read or what we are told does not cater to what we are going through ourselves.
It is important to remember however that no one is immune to heartbreak. No matter where you may be in the world, your social status, however beautiful you may be or how much money you have, everyone is vulnerable to heartbreak.
In this series we will talk about the lessons we have learnt through our own heartbreak experiences and those of others. Hopefully this may resonate with you and you can take something from it that may help you or someone close to you.
It isn’t always about you
It is always important to take responsibility of our own actions in any given situation.
By doing this we learn important lessons and grow as people by improving things that we might need to change about ourselves.
However, it is equally important to not take on all the burden and place full blame on our actions or behaviour.
It is hard when someone you love and have imagined a future with chooses to no longer love you. It doesn’t matter how long you have been together whether or not you have children with them, it is hard to process someone cutting off from you emotionally like that.
You have to remember however, that sometimes when someone makes the choice to no longer love you or be with you it isn’t directly related to you or the way you are. In actual fact it is more about them.
Some people do not have the emotional capacity to love you the way you want or need to be loved consistently.
Others carry emotional baggage they have not yet dealt with which doesn’t allow them to engage in healthy relationships.
If you see a pattern of actions that are not followed by accountability or change in behaviour then the problem most likely lies with them especially if they have expressed the same patterns in previous relationships.
What you need to take from this, the lesson is that you can’t fix a relationship of only one person is willing to work at it.
You cannot make someone stay where they don’t want to be and you cannot teach someone how to love you you if they are not willing to love.
In these moments look at the love around that is worth investing in. The love of good friends, siblings, children and parents.
You are loved and you need to love yourself enough to not settle for a loveless relationship.
You are worth more than that!
reflect. love. heal always
Brown Girl N