One of the first things after a heartbreak is the realisation that you’re vulnerability was taken advantage of.
You will feel exposed, your guard was down and you placed a part of you in the safety of someone else and you were let down.
You might feel foolish for trusting someone or trusting that the ‘happy situation’ you were in will always remain the same.
Things change and life always seems to have a mind of its own despites our plans and expectations.
This does not mean you were at fault being at peace and finding comfort in the situation you were in.
Nor does it mean that you are not able to mourn the loss you are facing. Crying does not mean you are weak, it means you are acknowledging your hurt.
Hoping to find the happiness back where you lost it does not mean you are foolish, it means that you are finding it difficult to let go.
Thinking those that have hurt you will come back and apologise does not mean you are naïve, just that you still want to find the good in them that you had always hoped they had.
But what we need to remember is that it is not just about how you feel, because when we face the harsh realities of a heartbreak our emotions tend not to make sense not just to others but sometimes to ourselves also.
The main point is how we deal with ourselves alongside the roller coaster of emotions we are going through.
Being strong does not mean putting on a brave face and trying not to cry or showing our vulnerability. It means letting it out when things get too much and then facing the day with the intention of getting things done.
When you reminisce all the good times always remember nothing is completely one sided. A good relationship will have bad moments and likewise a bad relationship will consist of good memories.
The outcome of the relationship a reflection on who you are.
What you need to understand is that once you have faced a heartbreak you have completed a chapter in your life.
You cannot go back to rewrite what has passed, and analysing what you cannot change will not benefit you in anyway.
Understanding what was to pass, has come and gone in your life allows you to take control and focus on making the most of what is yet to come.
Whether we choose to acknowledge it or not life goes on despites the tragedies and mishaps it faces, its up to us to choose to tackle it head on or pretend we’re at a standstill.
Because continuing on means putting yourself first and ignoring to do that just means you will have to face it all later but then you will have to deal with all the wasted time and energy.
You might feel defeated, hopeless and completely vulnerable after a heart break but I believe that you have the capabilities within you to face it all and to help yourself to slowly but surely to move on.
It really is all in your mindset, so choose to be brave, choose to be strong and above all choose to put yourself first, every time.
Reflect. Love. Heal
Brown Girl R.