Relationship Red Flags to keep an eye out for 2: Justifying bad behaviour! BGR

Someone who is kind is generally a kind person. Someone who is considerate is likewise generally a considerate person.

Often the way someone treats others or behaves with those around them is what attracts us to them, as a person’s characteristic is portrayed in their behaviour.

So if we’re running late and our date is patiently waiting, or if we keep forgetting the keys and they don’t mind going back to get them speaks a great deal about who they are.

If a friend or colleague can see you are having a bad day and they’ll go for lunch with you at your favourite place shows that consideration for others is something we can all do.

Yes people can have an off day, they may have faced a really tough situation or they may even be in need of a day where its all about them.

But never is that a justification for their ill behaviour towards others.

Bullet Journal Quote – ‘Recognising red flags, justifying bad behaviour’ BGR

Especially if you have had the first hand experience of their kindness, generosity, attentive and accommodating ‘nature’.

Everyone has their own social circle and experiences with people, but if someone’s general behaviour is changed towards a particular person (or type of people) because they think its what ‘they deserve’ or ‘the only way they will understand’ than that is showing you who they are and not those on the receiving end.

But because you have only been treated with consideration and that side of their nature has never been directed towards you, you’ll find that you will end up justifying their behaviour to others.

At first that will happen because you feel that others may be unaware of the person’s good nature (the one they have shown you) that they usually have.

Its difficult to stray from the image this person has made of themselves to you so you will do your best to portray the image you have onto others.

Bullet Journal Quote – ‘Recognising red flags genuinity does consist of different sides’ BGR

But then this becomes a habit and you find you are making excuses either to dissuade yourself or others to this side of them, because it hurts to actually see them for who they are rather than the picture they have painted for your eyes only.

A person who is toxic and skillful with the way they treat different people find it the most difficult to accept a character flaw, which is why the excuses for their behaviour is already prepared beforehand.

And once you are aware of all their excuses, you end up being the one repeating them on their behalf.

If this is you then stop, take a step back, way back.

You need to remember that you are responsible for your behaviour and your behaviour only.

Bullet Journal Quote – ‘Recognising red flags, when someone’s treatment of others makes you uncomfortable’ BGR

If you feel uncomfortable around the bad treatment of others then that is your innate character, your gut instinct telling you something is ‘off’. Listen to it.

Everyone has the ability and understanding of what is right and what is wrong, and everyone knows the correct and incorrect nature of their behaviour.

We should always be there to offer help and advice to others, but making excuses on others behalf isn’t aiding rather enabling them.

How others choose to behave and portray themselves is their responsibility and if they depict a negative impression then it is up to them to correct their behaviour along with the impression if it truly is not part of who they are.

You can only show how you would like to be treated with the way you treat others and how you would like to be spoken to with the way you speak to others.

And if you see any loved ones doing otherwise all you can do is let them know the way you would prefer to be told.

Reflect. Love. Heal

Brown Girl R xXx

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