Relationship Red Flags to keep an eye out for: 4. They don't talk through issues. BGR.

Disagreements in any sort of relationships are normal, I think we can take it one step further and say they are needed.

Differences of opinions, overstepped boundaries, our unique code of conduct and personal moral compass should be vocalised despite how it is received on the other side.

That is because disagreements initiate conversations and conversations, though they may be just words, are the beginning to solutions, the insight to our thoughts and the key form of communication to understanding one another.

Sometimes conversation can get really heated and continuing them might make matters worse so it is better to take a break just to cool things down, but then come back to it maybe with a different approach or even with cooler minds.

Bullet Journal Quote – ‘Recognising re flags all forms of communication is shut down’ BGR

There are many many websites and organisations providing helpful tips to aid communication skills which shows that being able to communicate easily is not everyone’s forte.

But what is not OK is shutting down all forms of communication.

Even if you do not wish to talk to someone because they have hurt you, or they have overstepped a boundary and you want to take a step back you have every right to that.

Before you do let that person know.

Sometimes even a slight altercation in a person’s body language or facial expression can let the other person know that they are upset, that is still some sort of conversations.

But refusing to talk, withholding oneself from someone, keeping the other person in the dark is a very very big red flag.

Then it is not about clarifying misunderstandings, it is not about understanding each other or even understanding how you are affecting the other person.

Bullet Journal Quote ‘Recognising res flags silence is used as punishment’ BGR

Walking away from conversations that need to happen becomes about control.

It becomes a weapon to use as a form of punishment to keep the other person in check, it might not be that the other person is not talking at all, they could have a tantrum, throw the point you are making off tangent, place all the blame on you, divert the attention to a baseless point so that they are right and you are wrong.

And sometimes we get so wound up trying to get through to the other person we lose sight of what is actually happening, we cannot see that the more effort we make the more we feed into their control.

If you find that you are in this position I cannot urge the importance to talk to someone else, because sometimes it is hard to see things for what they are unless it is explained from someone outside, someone from a more objective position.

Bullet Journal Quote ‘Recognising red flags when you are not heard’ BGR

It is important in a relationship to respect each others space, wishes and wants and needs but not if it is detrimental to who you are.

Disagreements might be resolved or it may be left as agreeing to disagree but what is important is the fact that both parties have had an opportunity to express themselves.

Having an open channel of communication allows the other person to feel like they have been heard regardless of whether they are proving themselves to be right or not.

You are a star in your own right, don’t let anyone else dim your light or take away your voice. Your right to be seen and heard is just as relevant as the next person’s, and your opinions, boundaries, limitations and feelings are as important also.

Reflect. Love. Heal

Brown Girl R.

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