If you have experienced a lot of red flags in the past, it can be particularly challenging to be aware of and trust green flags. This can be because you may have grown up around confusing and detrimental behaviour traits or if your experiences of red flags have left you traumatised, hurt or in need of healing.
You might even be at a point where you have a hard time trusting people and identifying what healthy relationships look like and therefore green flags can be quite difficult to identify and embrace.
Green flags highlight healthy traits and relationships or friendships that have a positive effect on your life and well-being. They indicate and guide us to the good traits in people we can trust.
It is only when we are able to identify and trust these green flags and sit around them at ease are we able to then be more in tune with, and aware of red flags that need to be addressed head on!
We often hear that “it’s the small things that matter” when it comes to nurturing a long lasting relationship.
It is important to understand that it is the small but CONSISTENT gestures that need to be seen as a green flag rather than small gestures (often meaningless) after traumatic events, arguments or abusive behaviour traits in which case please address and concentrate on the big problems first.
consistent gestures that cater to your individual emotional and physical needs with your approval and consent can be a great source of comfort.
Small things such a hug when you need it, a cup of tea in the morning, a long walk when you are down or even something simple as running you a bath after a long day can do wonders for you.
These small gestures build the foundation of a relationship that allow you to first understand each other on a basic level and then go onto building safe, deeply connected and meaningful relationships.
However these small and consistent gestures can only be green flags if they are done with the correct intentions and no selfish motives. They don’t keep tabs on all the “remember when I…” or expect anything in return.
So if someone consistently showers you with small kind gesture ‘just because’ or is there for a listening ear when you need it, knows your likes and dislikes and takes them on board when making decisions, is caring and kind and leaves you feeling good about yourself and safe in their company then that is a keeper.
Remember never to let the red flags you may have been victim to in the past take away from the amazing person you have survived to be.
We all have so many green flags within us that we can offer others that might need it.
The more we embrace the green flags around us, the closer our circle of people that add value to our lives, that cheer us on, that we can trust and that are there through the good and bad.
This in turn allow us to see the red flags more clearly, our intuition is more guided and we can weed out those that are detrimental to our well being, that are not good friends and those that we cannot build strong healthy bonds with.
Its a process, but a good one, one that gives you back control over your life and who you choose to allow in it.
reflect. love. heal always
Brown Girl N