This boundary is something I have always stood by and fought for without actually understanding it’s importance until much later in my life.
I have always been adamant in making sure that I protect the information of others and never indulge in details no matter who is asking. It’s not until later on I have applied this as a boundary for myself.
There may have been many occasions where we have been faced with a question we feel uncomfortable with but feel compelled to answer.
And only after the conversation takes place we realise that many details that we had shared was information the other person didn’t have to know and we could have done without the over sharing.
You have every right to keep yourself guarded; controlling what you choose to share and what you keep to yourself is literally the foundation of the personal boundaries you set for yourself.
If a question makes you feel uneasy then listen to yourself, follow your gut feeling and instinct before you feel obligated to answer what suits the person asking rather than what you feel like you should share.
And this really depends upon what you feel comfortable with.
At the same time sometimes we leave out certain information to not overburden others or for them not to feel like they have to give us any sort of ‘special’ treatment.
But no one is always ok and we cannot always be strong and if we are feeling vulnerable for any reason sometimes it’s better to let others know just so they are aware of our situation.
All this may seem pretty straight forward but sometimes we take into account what others expect from us and we tend to follow how the conversation is led rather than giving ourselves the power to choose and direct how we want the discussion to go.
This may be done with questions being asked indirectly, or the conversation flowing in from a different angle to make you feel like you need to over share (I can vouch that I have faced many of these).
But you need to always remind yourself that if you do not NEED to share something then DON’T and if you HAVE to share something then DO.
If for example you are facing certain difficulties in a relationship and you are not able to resolve them yourself then it is very important to share the information with someone 1. That you trust. 2. That is close to both of you. And 3. Who is able to help.
Anything that may seem overwhelming is something that we need to realise we can discuss, share and ask for help with.
That is because sometimes we underestimate the weight of all our struggles and even though we are capable, at times our difficulties are not always manageable. So sharing our problems and asking for help is act of strength and not weakness.
On the other hand, intimate details no matter how small, insignificant and in whatever area of our life should never be the topic of discussion for others.
If the conversation is only taking information from you and not benefiting you in any way then you need to reassess how you would like the conversation to go and direct the topic to one of your choice.
You should never feel like you owe certain information just because someone has asked for it, and declining to share should never be the reason for others to take offence.
Living your life on your term includes safeguarding anything you feel like you need to keep others away from and sharing anything that can benefit from the help of others.
Reflect. Love. Heal.