Wherever you may have been on your self love journey, with taking care of your health, being in a good routine, practising self care and working through putting your boundaries in place in a bid to discovering yourself… lockdown happened and it happened to us all.
For some of you continuing with a routine may have come more naturally to you than others but we have all struggled with ourselves at some point and in many ways.
Lockdown and dealing with a global Pandemic has tested all relationships, it has been overwhelming and confusing.
The relationship we have with ourselves is unique to any other relationship.
It needs to be built on a strong foundation, needs to be secure and nurturing, kind and understanding and it needs to prioritise your needs and wants.
It is a work in progress, evolves over time, matures as your needs change is crucial in order for you to have healthy relationships with others.
Being stuck at home, not being able to unwind at a spa/ gym/ with a night out etc can be difficult but also an opportunity to learn more about ourselves.
Sometimes a bad argument, a small disagreement, a break up or an uncomfortable encounter can be a good time to take a step back and reflect and nurture on the relationship you have with yourself.
Ask yourself the following:
- Are my needs being met? Your needs sometimes need to be met by your partner/ friend/ family member etc as part of the relationship structure. However identifying those needs and communicating them clearly are your responsibility.
- Do I have unrealistic expectations that are putting a strain on my relationships? You are responsible for your happiness. No one can make you happy the way you need to. You are responsible for completing yourself, discovering yourself and knowing yourself better than anyone. You can then share those discoveries with those around you to strengthen the relationships you have with others whilst continuing to nurture them in a positive way.
- Am I investing enough time for myself? Are you eating well? are you making sure you are staying hydrated and working out? Sometimes small issues can be blown out of proportion because we are drained, overworked, too tired, dehydrated and not feeling like ourselves and so we need to ensure that self care is a priority to be in the best state to deal with others and issues that are not in our control.
- Are my boundaries being tested? From experience this is a tough one. Toxic people, people that may not be used to new boundaries, those that cannot accept not getting their own way will test boundaries continuously expecting you to give in or cater to their needs. It is an exhausting process to reaffirm boundaries and keep them in place especially with those we care about or those we are close to. Make sure you communicate your expectations, what is ok with you and what you will not accept clearly and then take a step back. Protecting your wellbeing is a must in all cases.
- How am I managing my bad days? We all have bad days and bad patches, invest time in figuring out what makes you feel better. Journaling has been such an amazing new discovery for me where I pour out my worries on paper refer to some great quotes, prayers and then feel re-energised and focused on the day ahead.
For you it could be some wind down time with a mask and a bath. Exercise is such a great way to release happy endorphins. A power workout, an online class, winding down with yoga or a good walk could do wonders for you. Find out what works for you and take time out for yourself when you need it most. (For those with diagnosed mental health conditions or if you are experiencing more than just a low patch please consult a medical practitioner <3)
- Am I being Kind to myself? This is an essential part of nurturing a good relationship with yourself. Quiet down your inner critic and ignore the negative voice inside. Speak to yourself with understanding and compassion. Believe in yourself and be encouraging. Tell yourself you are strong and beautiful even if you don’t feel it because you should love yourself exactly as you are but also always work to be better.
Wherever you are, whatever you may be going through remember that you have your back, with the right mindset and determination you can get through it all.
You have overcome more obstacles than you know and here you are, breathing, living and surviving.
You deserve to live a life that is fulfilling and full of joy. You are not supposed to just exist.
The hard days, the low ones that twist your insides, the dark days when you feel lost and sad are the special ones even if it doesn’t feel like it.
They give you a chance to discover your strengths and unique ability to overcome the most seemingly impossible situations with grace and wisdom.
Every experience that allows you to grow is a good experience.
reflect. love. heal always
Brown Girl N